My Mama Said, "Children spell love T-I-M-E."

Yup.  It's a fact. Children don't care how many toys you throw at them, or if they're dressed in the hottest kiddie clothes brands.  They know how much you love them by the time you spend with them.  And while "quality time" is a buzzword, children also need big, chunky quantities of time and lots of it: Time spent playing with them, laughing with them, helping them learn (and having them teach you a thing or two in the process!)  This intimate bonding time helps give them the confidence to negotiate their world - and to a baby or infant, that world can be overwhelming at times.

Which is why I've chosen to be there as much as possible for my son.  Everything I've read about the subject, everything I've observed, tells me it's the right decision (if you can swing it).  Moreover, it's a choice that feels right to me.  Fortunately, I can swing it.  (Hats off to mothers who hold down 8-4 jobs and are still there for their kids; that's BIG love!) My career gives me the flexibility to work from home; it works for me and more importantly, it works for him.  Some of the folks in our neighbourhood are stunned that we've chosen to parent "the old time way", i.e.: with the wife at home, being the primary caregiver.  I giggle whenever I overhear such comments, because I don't consider myself a housewife.  "Working mother" doesn't really fit the bill either, because it suggests that work comes before motherhood.  I am a mother who works.  Which is not to say that the arrangement is without its occasional complications.

Most of the people I work with appreciate that the landscape has changed since I've had my son.  They all understand - nay, insist - that children come first, deadlines after.  As much as possible, they give me long lead times on projects, because they know that some days will be more productive than others.  And they always ask if I am able to add new projects to my workload beforehand.  These are the people I want to work with again and again.  But every rule must have an exception and a recent exception reminded me of a very good lesson, in business and in life: trust your instincts.  I let myself get involved in a project in a greater capacity than I felt comfortable with.  As the scope of work got bigger, I was kicking myself for the amount of time I now had to dedicate to it - time that wasn't being spent with my son.  It simply wasn't worth it.  And that's what it really comes down to for parents; doing the best you can in your particular situation.  Making choices that suit your family.  Looking at your children and knowing that they're totally worth it.