My Mama Said, "There'll be days like these..."

Days when your child is sick and (of course!) so are you, so you're feeling, as the Bajans say, "like bare shite", but you have absolutely no time to wallow in self-pity. Interestingly, after the pediatrician confirmed that my baby's hacking cough was the side effect of a cold and prescribed a combination of saline solution (for clearing his nasal passage) and lots of breastfeeding (for the antibodies and comfort), my son seems to be improving. I, on the other hand, who swore this was one cold I was not going to catch, have got progressively worse. I thought I'd cry with frustration last night thanks to the irritating combination of lack of sleep, cough and nasal congestion. I feel depleted. And that's obviously why I caught the damn cold in the first place. I'm run down.

But things change when you have a child. You can no longer be the child. My son has needs and I'm the one who has to meet them. My one consolation is that I seem to have got the worst of it; I'd hate for my son to feel as miserable as I do right now. (Although I wouldn't be surprised if he does feel as miserable, but outshines his mother when it comes to temperament!) Which of course is the great lesson in all this: Children live in the moment and this too shall pass.

My Mama Said, "When in doubt, take a time out."

In other words, don't rush into a decision if you're not entirely convinced it's the right one.  (Probably one of the reasons I got married after 30!)  The decision I'm currently faced with is whether or not to get help when I'm home with my son during the day (part of which I'm theoretically supposed to be working).  Thus far, it hasn't been an issue because my mother-in-law came to visit with us (she lives abroad) from the time he was three months old and did a stellar job looking after him while I got stuff done.  She left nearly three weeks ago, about four months after she arrived.

Because I work from home, this shouldn't be an issue, right?  Wrong.  Very rarely does my son nap on his own during the day, which means a significantly smaller window of opportunity in which I can get work accomplished.  But I'm not comfortable with a stranger caring for my child, even if I'm in the next room.  So I tried balancing things on my own the first few days after my mother-in-law left: one day, I got practically no work done, the following day, tons!  Which is to be expected, of course, depending on his mood, energy level, how much sleep he got the night before.  Still, there's no debating the fact that I could work more efficiently if I got some help - so, with an open mind, I put out a call for qualified nurses, and ended up with a name and a number.

The lady who answered the phone told me in a very ginger, uncertain voice, that she had already got a job and was no longer available.  I say, "Oh! Well, thanks anyway!" and hang up, finding it a bit curious that in the less-than-24-hours it took me to call her she'd been taken off the job market.  That afternoon, she calls back, saying that she's available again (what happened to the other job, I wonder?) and that she'd meet me in the Mall to discuss duties, etc.  By this point, every instinct I have is furiously waving a red flag, but I'm so stunned by the 180 degree turnabout that I agree to meet her.  A few hours later, when I've had some time to really consider how I feel about the entire exchange, I cancel. 

Miraculously, this little exchange happened at just about the time that my son is gaining more independence.  He's been asleep in his crib for the last hour, which has allowed me to finish up some writing projects, check email and write this post.  So far, so good.  No extra hands needed.  Yet.  (Just wait till he starts to walk...)